Eastertide Gratitude Daybook

Outside on our Turkey Ranch-

Our spring flowers have come and gone. Irises. Lots of yellow ones. Red tulips & scarlet Indian paintbrush only had a few blooms this year. I planted locally raised geraniums that are holding strong in the heat, also two blackberry bushes on Easter Sunday from and with Jesse.

We have a spring foal on the ground and one still on the way in the fall. A palomino filly named Kisses by Cate (to go w/ last year's foal, Hugs).

From the bookshelves- 

Ongoing GK Chesterton in the roundabout way I study things that I have a long-term interest in (biographical articles, podcasts, chapters at a time- rarely reading something straight through.)

Mary & I have started watching Jane Austen movies: Emma, Sense & Sensibility, soon on to Pride & Prejudice. In Girls Group, we’re discussing Haley Stewart’s new book re. Jane as your Life Coach, Jane Austen's Genius Guide to Life.

With our hands- 

Cate & Sara put together fun birdhouses that she can see from inside the house.

Mary’s busy making her own cooking camp at home with Pioneer Woman’s Super Easy! cookbook.

JP & I had fun designing his combo-schools Graduation announcement.

For our school’s May Crowning, I made a simple crown for Mary out of live stems and also some props for the Wizard of Oz production later in May.

In my head- 

There’s too much in my head. I’m too much in my head. My hormone shifts have been hard. But I’m working on all that w/ a new doctor.

On my heart- 

All the kids- Jude home, JP leaving this fall after a special season of Graduation festivities, M & M and a fun summer with them after a stressful year(s!), Cate and a more relaxed schedule for more time at home with her this summer.

Our Recent Road Trips-

Perfect for Eastertide: Gilbert Creek Flower Farm & the Dallas Arboretum.

Back on Good Friday, we spent the afternoon in the Wichita Mountains, including praying Divine Mercy Chaplet at the replica of the Holy City there. Getting to church all three nights of the Triduum liturgies w/ Mary was a "homeventure" that I hope we repeat every year.

Book notes: Edith Stein, A Biography:

Our MOMS ENDOW study on JPII's "Letter to Women" has been discussing the influence of Edith Stein, philospher, convert, teacher, Carmelite, mystic, & martyr on the development of the Catholic "New Feminism."  She was my Confirmation saint and seems to be one of those saints who finds me when I need her to teach me something.  Our ENDOW study sent me back to this biography that has been on our shelves here at home but that I hadn't ever read.  Here's a collection of quotes from it so far that continue to make me think:

The one thing a person needs to keep doing is to try live out his chosen vocation with an ever-increasing honesty and purity, to make it an acceptable oblation for those with whom he is united.

If, up to now, a person has been more or less contented with himself, the time for that is over.  He will do what he can to change the unpleasant things he finds in himself, but he will discover quite a bit that can't be called beautiful and yet will be nearly impossible to change.  As a result he will slowly become small and humble, increasingly patient and tolerant toward specks in his brothers' eyes, now that he has so much trouble with the beam in his own.  Eventually, he'll be able to look at himself in the unblinking light of the divine presence and learn to entrust himself to the power of the divine mercy.

It is faith in our hidden stories that ought to console us when what we see externally in ourselves and in others tends to depress us.

Epiphany epiphany

From Helena, by Evelyn Waugh, a historical fiction about St. Helena the mother of Emperor Constantine and finder of the true Cross:

"This is my day," [Helena] thought, and these [Magi] are my kind."

Perhaps she apprehended that her fame, like theirs, would live in one historic act of devotion; that she too had emerged from a kind of... nameless realm and would vanish like them in the sinking nursery firelight among picture books and the day's toys.

"Like me," she said to them, "you were late in coming.  The shepherds were here long before; even the cattle.  They had joined the chorus of angels before you were on your way.  For you the primordial discipline of the heavens was relaxed and a new defiant light blazed amid the disconcerted stars.

"How laboriously you came, taking sights and calculating, where the shepherds had run barefoot!  How odd you looked on the road, attended by what outlandish liveries, laden with such preposterous gifts!...

..."Yet you came, and were not turned away.  You, too, found room before the manger.  Your gifts were not needed, but they were accepted and put carefully by, for they were brought with love.  In that new order of charity that had just come to life, there was room for you, too.  You were not lower in the eyes of the holy family than the ox or the ass.

"You are my especial patrons," said Helena, "and patrons of all latecomers, of all who have a tedious journey to make to the truth, of all who are confused with knowledge and speculation, of all who through politeness make themselves partners in guilt, of all who stand in danger by reason of their talents....

"For his sake who did not reject your curious gifts, pray always for the learned, the oblique, the delicate.  Let them not be quite forgotten at the throne of God when the simple come into their kingdom."  

A Books! and Chickens!! Daybook

Outside my window it is…nighttime, dark.  Winter in north central TX is here- cold, gray, often wet & windy lately, and below freezing at night regularly now.  Too little, too late as far as the rain goes.  So much of our yard is dead-beyond-recovery from the drought.
I am thankful for #…688: "Time to recover, organize, plan."  I started my own list of "1000 Gifts" after reading the book over a year ago.  It was a way for me to focus on the good and all I had to be grateful for as we were preparing for Jesse to leave for his deployment this time last year.  It still helps me in those ways and I use it in my prayer the many mornings I am crabby or hormonal.  I should post an excerpt of my list again...

I am hoping and praying for…my brother this Christmas as he continues to work as an English-language teacher in Thailand; for a friend in the process of adopting from Poland!; for Jesse as he prepares for Oral Boards the week after and we travel w/ him to San Antonio; for my MOMS group as we begin an ENDOW study next week.  I hope and pray that last one is a part of my life for years to come, like CCL and teaching RE.  Not necessarily all at once but each for long seasons.

On my mind…lots of friends and family I haven't heard from this year!?  Is everyone like me and did less this year?  As in few cards for the Gorleys?  :(  I managed to get a photo card out but did not finish decorating or mail any gifts or do any baking.  I started out behind and then had severe & paralyzing back pain that put me in the ER less than a week ago.  It also kept us home this week.  We are not traveling to see my in-laws b/c I am just recovering now, as in able to walk around without serious painkillers.

Noticing that the kids… are growing up so fast.  And it doesn't get any easier or more simple.  I've got to write an update on each of them here soon.  This is becoming my only family scrapbook/journal.

A few plans for the month…family visits for the New Year (hopefully pending full recovery), the trip to San Antonio for Jesse's test, then back into our regular, albeit relaxed, school schedule.  I cannot do an intense one and be a peaceful momma so this must be what is the right fit for us.  I need to do some spring school planning, too.  Goal setting with the big boys.  

From the bookshelves…I have a lot of books on my mind lately...A Little Way of Homeschooling which I have been slowly reading on my iPad this school year.  We do a mix of everything here including a minimal amount of formal lessons for big chunks of the year and I like to do a little reading on unschooling as we head into those times b/c it reminds me how much they are always learning on their own and so, alleviates my guilt.  :)  This is how I do a lot of my reading- several things at once, on-going as I need them.  I often don't finish them before going on to something else but I usually cycle back to them again, too.  Then, other books apply to and are finished in a season.  I read Made From Scratch this past week while I was laid up b/c of my back, after giving a copy to a friend.  She gave me The Joy of Keeping Chickens which I have not read yet but will soon I'm sure b/c we have chickens of our own!  (Finally.  Thank you, dear Jesse, for your work on the coop and pen and making that 2 year dream for myself and the kids come true.  On to horses for you and John Paul, God-willing.)  I gave Jesse a few books to give me for Christmas, which I look forward to reading: A Charlotte Mason Companion, Render Unto Caesar, Charity in Truth.  Best read of 2011: The Reed of God, which I finally finished.  Now my spiritual reading is Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila, mostly b/c of her influence on my beloved Edith Stein/Teresa Benedicta of the Cross.
In the kitchen…we just finished a lot of leftovers, including a variation of 7-Can Soup that Jesse had made.  We eat a lot of soup in the winter.  Potato is our favorite.  Thankfully, several friends have shared Christmas cookies with us as gifts, etc b/c I was going to go into depression w/out them.  I did bake a cake.  We bought pies.

On the Church calendar…it is now the Octave of Christmas and today is the Feast of St. Stephen.  Really, Christmas has just begun and the season does not end until the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord.  We had a good and simple Advent this year, by the grace of God: nightly day's Gospel after dinner w/ wreath lighting & singing of "O Come, Emmanuel" and a decade of the Rosary at bedtime prayers.  We also read from our Advent Storybook each night and the boys each had a traditional chocolate calendar.  We made "O Antiphon" paper ornaments and sent them to god-siblings but did not get them hung on our own tree that last week before Christmas.  We always wait to put our tree and other decorations up until at least Gaudete Sunday, only empty nativities out before that.  We put Jesus into our indoor and outdoor nativites on Christmas morning which I really liked this year b/c it is harder to keep the gift-hype down as the kids get older and more of them know what to expect.  We still do St. Nick and their stockings on his feast day, Dec. 6th, which is also Mark's Baptism Day.  But since we go to Mass the night before now (when they were little, we would go Christmas morning!), I like the pause to put Jesus into the mangers b/f the dive into and focus on the gifts on Christmas morning.

Pictures I’m sharing…from our big trip to beautiful Oregon in November to see close family friends, including one of our godsons.  I used these on our Christmas card in black & white.  More pics soon now that I have my own camera again.

Long time, no post- more from Houselander

It's been a long time since I posted anything thoughtful here.  Constant full days and I think the Chaput quote at the top is partly responsible, as well: I may be thinking about on-line reading and a post but then as I open my blog page and scroll past that quote, I always know there is something else more important I should or could be doing!

Still slowly reading The Reed of God, by Caryll Houselander.  So good, especially for Advent.  She reflects on the life of the Blessed Mother with Christ, her on the "Finding in the Temple:"

...Why must we be always seeking for the lost Child?

Why must we be always feeling the pain of loss?

If we did not, we should not realise that our idols are not God, are not Christ.

Bad as they are, they match our limitations; and if they should content us, we should never know the real beauty of Christ: we should not become whole.

It is one of God's great mercies that, although our vanity and our fear and our other mean passions crave for satisfaction, when they are satisfied, we are not.  There is an essential  you, an essential me, who cannot be satisfied excepting by God: that is why the sense of loss saves us from complacency in our idols and drives us to go on seeking for the lost Child....

We know Him only by continually learning Him anew; we get away from false gods only by continually seeking Him; we hold Him only by losing Him....

...[A]fter all: "Seek and ye shall find."

His meaning is Love.

Not so ordinary Ordinary

From Caryll Houselander's The Reed of God, which is helping me to know & love the Blessed Virgin Mary better than ever before (among other things!):

To put aside suddenly every motive except this single one, the forming of Christ in our life, is not so easy for ordinary people who are to remain ordinary.

Thanks, SP for the copy!  :)

My Own 1000 Gifts: 1-100

1. Nursing infant daughter's hungry hands & gulps
2. Toddler son's budding speech
3. 6 yr old sensitivity, esp w/ toddler bro
4. 8 yr old collectivity, incl ideas
5. Husband's hands
6. Winter fire's warmth & glowing embers
7. Blazing pink sun setting on horizon
8. Creativity unfolding
9. Generations gathering & family love uniting differences, even red & blue ones
10. A bro-in-law joyful in life's work
11. A sister pregnant w/ expectation
12. A bro growing in maturity
13. A father trying
14. An always devoted mother
15. Melt-in-your-mouth lobster ravioli
16. Sand dollars!
17. Boy Wii joy
18. Dinner highs & lows
19. Walking off stress
20. Husband's strength
21. Husband's initiative
22. Brother love
23. Dinner w/ friends w/ children
24. Lunch w/ devoted Husband
25. Happy boy chatter
26. Reading glee- young & old
27. Fri nights together relaxing
28. Pink sky @ plains sunset (even when can't see sun!)
29. Toddler hugs
30. Dancing in the kitchen w/ Husband
31. Waking up Precious Babe from a long nap
32. Toddlin' Tornado's table antics
33. Rhythms of quiet
34. A Saturday together working, then relaxing
35. Husband's happiness @ burritos & beer
36. Little familiar faces in a Sunday classroom
37. Eucharist-peace on Sunday afternoon
38. Friends home from travels
39. Warm clothes in cold weather
40. A bird feeding station that actually attracts some birds
41. Thoughtful gifts from friends
42. Cooking a new recipe, even if no one liked it
43. Missions accomplished
44. Old-fashioned girl clothes
45. An unexpected blessing, help, friend
46. A delicious & healthy new recipe
47. Precious Babe's squeals of joy
48. A Daddy loving his youngest w/ patience & his oldest w/ tenderness
49. Excellent medical care
50. Pampering beauty supplies
51. SPY & youth ministers
52. EE
53. JD
54. JB
55. UD
56. MG
57. GW & usccb
58. JH
59. DL
60. TTU Law
61. H & K
62. CB
63. JDG!
64. SJN
65. C Clan
66. NFP work
67. La Familia C
68. My M-I-L
69. Neighbors who became friends so quickly
70. Good east & west windows
71. Wide, open spaces w/ big sky
72. Grasses blowing in the wind
73. Women gathered to celebrate new life
74. Man appreciative of woman's timeless work
75. Citizens supporting one another
76. A priest who really recalls another Christ
77. Fresh sheets
78. Fresh pillowcases even
79. Rest after a busy day
80. Husband who really cares
81. Children who love me & each other
82. My health
83. House w/ space & a high living room ceiling
84. Husband's help & concern @ lunch
85. Little icicles
86. Big hearted helper-brother
87. Snow hats w/ ear flaps & red cheeks peeking out underneath
89. Loose dog found
90. Precious Babe asleep again
91. Toddlin' Tornado's nap time
92. Breathing deeply under the warm sun on a cool, crisp day
93. Beautiful views from mountain heights
94. Wind rustling through dry leaves on trees & rippling prairie grasses
95. Rock climbing Toddler
96. Funky-clothed Husband
97. Big boy who wanted Mom @ the top of Little Baldy
98. Big boy blazing his own trails
99. Precious Babe happy to be toted along anywhere
100. No dinner prep!

Baptism of the Lord Daybook

 *Post Post: It did snow today!

Outside my window...a wet, cold Sun w/ the the temperature dropping. There is even a chance of snow!

I am thankful for...blessed holidays w/ my husband still home w/ us, the inspiration to do a relaxed winter term of school from mid-Dec through Jan & the Little House fun we've been having during it, an irresistible toddler, & a breastfeeding infant who is growing...slowly but surely, she's growing... along the 10th percentile curve but she's growing.

I am hoping for...time! (always!?) to finish New Year's notes & a handmade gift.

On my mind...Jesse's truly imminent (this time) deployment to Kuwait. We are so thankful that his superiors listened to the specialists & protected his back from any further injury under the tougher conditions in Afghanistan. Kuwait is a blessing & that is what I'm going to tell myself for the 6 mos he's gone. I'm not worried about sharing that he's gone here b/c I basically set up this blog to be a private one & you can only find it if I've sent you here.

Noticing that... Precious Babe is falling asleep while nursing & Toddlin' Tornado just woke up, according to the sounds (kicks) coming from his room. And it's getting colder...

A few plans for the week...finish those notes & the gift. A few plans for the month...final prep for Beloved Husband to leave, tweaking of spring school plans for the big boys, Montessori homeschooling plans for Toddlin' Tornado, a LLL meeting for Precious Babe. A few plans for the year...resolutions, even?...not a lot of resolutions, just plans to craft/create more, especially gifts & b-day cakes- just 1-2 a month. My only real resolution is to get outside everyday & walk a few times a week. I feel like God has much of my year mapped out for me. I'm resolved to do what it takes to be a single parent of 2 in diapers & another 2 I'm homeschooling for the next 6 mos.

From the bookshelves...lots of reading going on here. The entire Little House series for the big boys...now we're getting into the "sequels" and hopefully eventually, Melissa Wiley's "prequels.". I'm reading the original Rev Awdry Thomas the Tank stories to Toddlin' Tornado. I've been slowly reading Those Who Love based on correspondence b/twn John & Abigail Adams during their many separations since we moved here. We're both reading a book handed out @ our dynamic parish for Christmas, Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. Very good so far. I'm also reading a BEAUTIFUL book on my Kindle App called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. So good. Beautifully written in an almost poetic style. Full of inspired wisdom from a modern, Christian-seeker mom. I put all my 2011 must-reads in our "library"...um, master bath, so they are always w/in reach.

In the kitchen...a gift subscription to "Clean Eating" from a new friend. Tried a new recipe from this month's tonight that was officially not. a. hit. Frustrating. I liked it but we all know that means it will never be made again.

I am (co-) creating...a chubby baby, spring school plans, go-to lists for when my husband is gone, that gift that I should just work on instead of writing about, more organized house. We still have boxes to unpack six months later but they are finally distributed from the holding space where the unimportant ones had collected.

On the Church calendar & in our home Church...Ordinary Time, the green growing time, as I tell the kids. We didn't do anything for Epiphany this year- no house blessing or King Cake or virtue selection. We were still recovering from travels & a family New Year's Eve party. We celebrate John Paul's feast day on the Feast of the Conversion of St Paul later this month.

Blogging My Way Through Beloved Snail...

In the sidebar, you can see a link to a great book I'm slowly reading on-line, Turn Not Pale Beloved Snail. The blogger who originally linked to it was so excited to find it again after having read it as a child because, you see, it is a book on writing for children; however, writers of any age would benefit from working through its fun exercises. But only. if. they. wanted. to. As was originally intended by the author, Jacqueline Jackson...

Chapter 1- Woodies
"Woodies" are poems from everyday life, captured by learning to listen to insightful, funny, ironic, etc comments made, esp by children. Here's my first attempt:

"Privileges of Age"

When I'm older
I'm gonna do whatever I want.
I'm going to make a whole batch
Of cookie dough and eat it
Without making any cookies.

-Melissa Muller, age 11, 1988


When I'm a grown-up
I'm gonna do whatever I want.
I'm going to stay up late
And eat popcorn
Every night.

-Jude Gorley, age 7, 2010 (son of Melissa)

Book Review: Unless You Become Like This Child, von B

My systematic theo professor in college is a student & devotee herself of renown German theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar, even, if I remember correctly, studying under him &/or his colleagues, including then-Cardinal Ratzinger. We read a lot of Theo-Drama in her classes and heard even more from it. Since then, I have wanted to read more of his work and recently have been working on a slim little volume called Unless You Become Like This Child. For a few years now, my spiritual program has focused on growing in trust of God, as a child trusts his parents.

I am especially enjoying and learning from von B's fifth chapter in Unless...: "Living as God's Children." There he begins by noting that "nothing...has ever more emptied the wondrous mystery of child of its value" as the modern positivist preoccupation with making ourselves [what we decide humanity ought to be in our opinion]. He continues by noting that the traits of the adult Christian living as a child of God are "most evident in Christ himself:" 1) delightful amazement, esp. at the gifts of freedom, the other, Creation; 2) thanksgiving, in implicit recognition that I owe my life to another; 3) embracing the mystery of the Church and my place in it; and 4) living fully in the present moment, like a child with time to play and SLEEP. I'll close with a particularly-relevant-for-myself quote re. that last point-

"Pressured man on the run is always postponing his encounter with God to a 'free moment' or a 'time of prayer' that must constantly be rescheduled, a time that he must laboriously wrest from his overburdened workday. A child knows that God can find him at every moment because every moment opens up for him and shows him the very ground of time: as if it reposed on eternity itself."