Stop trying to think out a solution for the moment: there isn't one. One day there may be; God will then show it to you. In the meantime, accept it all as being the big thing for God and his Church that he asks of you- that, and the depression too. You will find the relief of merely accepting, instead of struggling, wonderful; and I include in this, accepting anything in yourself, during the crisis, which seems to you a failure or a fault. Don't exonerate yourself, but just say you are sorry, briefly, to God, and add that your name is dirt- that's what is to be expected from you- but you're sorry, you are forgiven, and it is over...
Showing posts with label Caryll Houselander. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caryll Houselander. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
There's a reason...
... I already had a tag for Caryll Houselander. The editors of Magnificat coupled this reflection of hers with a recent daily Gospel reading from Luke 12: 35-38. (I'm noticing a theme of anxiety/depression in my last couple posts. It is on my mind, not for myself right now although I have & can struggle with it, but because of a few loved ones who are suffering with it.)
Monday, December 26, 2011
A Books! and Chickens!! Daybook
Outside my window it is…nighttime, dark. Winter in north central TX is here- cold, gray, often wet & windy lately, and below freezing at night regularly now. Too little, too late as far as the rain goes. So much of our yard is dead-beyond-recovery from the drought.
I am thankful for #…688: "Time to recover, organize, plan." I started my own list of "1000 Gifts" after reading the book over a year ago. It was a way for me to focus on the good and all I had to be grateful for as we were preparing for Jesse to leave for his deployment this time last year. It still helps me in those ways and I use it in my prayer the many mornings I am crabby or hormonal. I should post an excerpt of my list again...
I am hoping and praying for…my brother this Christmas as he continues to work as an English-language teacher in Thailand; for a friend in the process of adopting from Poland!; for Jesse as he prepares for Oral Boards the week after and we travel w/ him to San Antonio; for my MOMS group as we begin an ENDOW study next week. I hope and pray that last one is a part of my life for years to come, like CCL and teaching RE. Not necessarily all at once but each for long seasons.
On my mind…lots of friends and family I haven't heard from this year!? Is everyone like me and did less this year? As in few cards for the Gorleys? :( I managed to get a photo card out but did not finish decorating or mail any gifts or do any baking. I started out behind and then had severe & paralyzing back pain that put me in the ER less than a week ago. It also kept us home this week. We are not traveling to see my in-laws b/c I am just recovering now, as in able to walk around without serious painkillers.
Noticing that the kids… are growing up so fast. And it doesn't get any easier or more simple. I've got to write an update on each of them here soon. This is becoming my only family scrapbook/journal.
A few plans for the month…family visits for the New Year (hopefully pending full recovery), the trip to San Antonio for Jesse's test, then back into our regular, albeit relaxed, school schedule. I cannot do an intense one and be a peaceful momma so this must be what is the right fit for us. I need to do some spring school planning, too. Goal setting with the big boys.
From the bookshelves…I have a lot of books on my mind lately...A Little Way of Homeschooling which I have been slowly reading on my iPad this school year. We do a mix of everything here including a minimal amount of formal lessons for big chunks of the year and I like to do a little reading on unschooling as we head into those times b/c it reminds me how much they are always learning on their own and so, alleviates my guilt. :) This is how I do a lot of my reading- several things at once, on-going as I need them. I often don't finish them before going on to something else but I usually cycle back to them again, too. Then, other books apply to and are finished in a season. I read Made From Scratch this past week while I was laid up b/c of my back, after giving a copy to a friend. She gave me The Joy of Keeping Chickens which I have not read yet but will soon I'm sure b/c we have chickens of our own! (Finally. Thank you, dear Jesse, for your work on the coop and pen and making that 2 year dream for myself and the kids come true. On to horses for you and John Paul, God-willing.) I gave Jesse a few books to give me for Christmas, which I look forward to reading: A Charlotte Mason Companion, Render Unto Caesar, Charity in Truth. Best read of 2011: The Reed of God, which I finally finished. Now my spiritual reading is Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila, mostly b/c of her influence on my beloved Edith Stein/Teresa Benedicta of the Cross.
In the kitchen…we just finished a lot of leftovers, including a variation of 7-Can Soup that Jesse had made. We eat a lot of soup in the winter. Potato is our favorite. Thankfully, several friends have shared Christmas cookies with us as gifts, etc b/c I was going to go into depression w/out them. I did bake a cake. We bought pies.
On the Church calendar…it is now the Octave of Christmas and today is the Feast of St. Stephen. Really, Christmas has just begun and the season does not end until the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. We had a good and simple Advent this year, by the grace of God: nightly day's Gospel after dinner w/ wreath lighting & singing of "O Come, Emmanuel" and a decade of the Rosary at bedtime prayers. We also read from our Advent Storybook each night and the boys each had a traditional chocolate calendar. We made "O Antiphon" paper ornaments and sent them to god-siblings but did not get them hung on our own tree that last week before Christmas. We always wait to put our tree and other decorations up until at least Gaudete Sunday, only empty nativities out before that. We put Jesus into our indoor and outdoor nativites on Christmas morning which I really liked this year b/c it is harder to keep the gift-hype down as the kids get older and more of them know what to expect. We still do St. Nick and their stockings on his feast day, Dec. 6th, which is also Mark's Baptism Day. But since we go to Mass the night before now (when they were little, we would go Christmas morning!), I like the pause to put Jesus into the mangers b/f the dive into and focus on the gifts on Christmas morning.
Pictures I’m sharing…from our big trip to beautiful Oregon in November to see close family friends, including one of our godsons. I used these on our Christmas card in black & white. More pics soon now that I have my own camera again.
I am thankful for #…688: "Time to recover, organize, plan." I started my own list of "1000 Gifts" after reading the book over a year ago. It was a way for me to focus on the good and all I had to be grateful for as we were preparing for Jesse to leave for his deployment this time last year. It still helps me in those ways and I use it in my prayer the many mornings I am crabby or hormonal. I should post an excerpt of my list again...
I am hoping and praying for…my brother this Christmas as he continues to work as an English-language teacher in Thailand; for a friend in the process of adopting from Poland!; for Jesse as he prepares for Oral Boards the week after and we travel w/ him to San Antonio; for my MOMS group as we begin an ENDOW study next week. I hope and pray that last one is a part of my life for years to come, like CCL and teaching RE. Not necessarily all at once but each for long seasons.
On my mind…lots of friends and family I haven't heard from this year!? Is everyone like me and did less this year? As in few cards for the Gorleys? :( I managed to get a photo card out but did not finish decorating or mail any gifts or do any baking. I started out behind and then had severe & paralyzing back pain that put me in the ER less than a week ago. It also kept us home this week. We are not traveling to see my in-laws b/c I am just recovering now, as in able to walk around without serious painkillers.
Noticing that the kids… are growing up so fast. And it doesn't get any easier or more simple. I've got to write an update on each of them here soon. This is becoming my only family scrapbook/journal.
A few plans for the month…family visits for the New Year (hopefully pending full recovery), the trip to San Antonio for Jesse's test, then back into our regular, albeit relaxed, school schedule. I cannot do an intense one and be a peaceful momma so this must be what is the right fit for us. I need to do some spring school planning, too. Goal setting with the big boys.
From the bookshelves…I have a lot of books on my mind lately...A Little Way of Homeschooling which I have been slowly reading on my iPad this school year. We do a mix of everything here including a minimal amount of formal lessons for big chunks of the year and I like to do a little reading on unschooling as we head into those times b/c it reminds me how much they are always learning on their own and so, alleviates my guilt. :) This is how I do a lot of my reading- several things at once, on-going as I need them. I often don't finish them before going on to something else but I usually cycle back to them again, too. Then, other books apply to and are finished in a season. I read Made From Scratch this past week while I was laid up b/c of my back, after giving a copy to a friend. She gave me The Joy of Keeping Chickens which I have not read yet but will soon I'm sure b/c we have chickens of our own! (Finally. Thank you, dear Jesse, for your work on the coop and pen and making that 2 year dream for myself and the kids come true. On to horses for you and John Paul, God-willing.) I gave Jesse a few books to give me for Christmas, which I look forward to reading: A Charlotte Mason Companion, Render Unto Caesar, Charity in Truth. Best read of 2011: The Reed of God, which I finally finished. Now my spiritual reading is Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila, mostly b/c of her influence on my beloved Edith Stein/Teresa Benedicta of the Cross.
In the kitchen…we just finished a lot of leftovers, including a variation of 7-Can Soup that Jesse had made. We eat a lot of soup in the winter. Potato is our favorite. Thankfully, several friends have shared Christmas cookies with us as gifts, etc b/c I was going to go into depression w/out them. I did bake a cake. We bought pies.
On the Church calendar…it is now the Octave of Christmas and today is the Feast of St. Stephen. Really, Christmas has just begun and the season does not end until the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. We had a good and simple Advent this year, by the grace of God: nightly day's Gospel after dinner w/ wreath lighting & singing of "O Come, Emmanuel" and a decade of the Rosary at bedtime prayers. We also read from our Advent Storybook each night and the boys each had a traditional chocolate calendar. We made "O Antiphon" paper ornaments and sent them to god-siblings but did not get them hung on our own tree that last week before Christmas. We always wait to put our tree and other decorations up until at least Gaudete Sunday, only empty nativities out before that. We put Jesus into our indoor and outdoor nativites on Christmas morning which I really liked this year b/c it is harder to keep the gift-hype down as the kids get older and more of them know what to expect. We still do St. Nick and their stockings on his feast day, Dec. 6th, which is also Mark's Baptism Day. But since we go to Mass the night before now (when they were little, we would go Christmas morning!), I like the pause to put Jesus into the mangers b/f the dive into and focus on the gifts on Christmas morning.
Pictures I’m sharing…from our big trip to beautiful Oregon in November to see close family friends, including one of our godsons. I used these on our Christmas card in black & white. More pics soon now that I have my own camera again.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Long time, no post- more from Houselander
It's been a long time since I posted anything thoughtful here. Constant full days and I think the Chaput quote at the top is partly responsible, as well: I may be thinking about on-line reading and a post but then as I open my blog page and scroll past that quote, I always know there is something else more important I should or could be doing!
Still slowly reading The Reed of God, by Caryll Houselander. So good, especially for Advent. She reflects on the life of the Blessed Mother with Christ, her on the "Finding in the Temple:"
Still slowly reading The Reed of God, by Caryll Houselander. So good, especially for Advent. She reflects on the life of the Blessed Mother with Christ, her on the "Finding in the Temple:"
...Why must we be always seeking for the lost Child?
Why must we be always feeling the pain of loss?
If we did not, we should not realise that our idols are not God, are not Christ.
Bad as they are, they match our limitations; and if they should content us, we should never know the real beauty of Christ: we should not become whole.
It is one of God's great mercies that, although our vanity and our fear and our other mean passions crave for satisfaction, when they are satisfied, we are not. There is an essential you, an essential me, who cannot be satisfied excepting by God: that is why the sense of loss saves us from complacency in our idols and drives us to go on seeking for the lost Child....
We know Him only by continually learning Him anew; we get away from false gods only by continually seeking Him; we hold Him only by losing Him....
...[A]fter all: "Seek and ye shall find."
His meaning is Love.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Not so ordinary Ordinary
From Caryll Houselander's The Reed of God, which is helping me to know & love the Blessed Virgin Mary better than ever before (among other things!):
To put aside suddenly every motive except this single one, the forming of Christ in our life, is not so easy for ordinary people who are to remain ordinary.Thanks, SP for the copy! :)
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