Our regularly visiting spiritual guide from Houston, Mary Beth, was with us for September's Retreat and gave the lay formation talk on God the Father's love. What follows are my notes from her talk:
We all can have many misconceptions about who God really is. Fr. Jonathan Morris' book The Promise lists several of these misconceptions: God the Vending Machine ( I put in to get what I want); God the Clock-Maker (He designed everything to just go on its own); The God of the Buffet (I pick and choose His attributes); God the Cop (He is critical and just waiting for me to screw up); God as Life Insurance (Some virtue & religion is good but let's keep a prespective on the good things of the world). None of these is accurate or reflects who God has revealed Himself to be. A more realistic view of God motivates us to love and to live in love. So, let's look at Him in the Gospels, in the person of Jesus Christ.
God is strong (eg. Christ calming the storm). God is protective (eg. giving Mary to John and John to Mary at the Cross). God is someone who provides (eg. Just look at all of Creation!). God is someone who educates and forms (eg. Christ's life w/ the Apostles). Christ is one w/ God the Father (eg. Jesus was always in prayer with his Father and Christ couldn't wait to die on the Cross b/c that was the fulfillment of the Father's will, that was all the love he could give in the Father's name). God is a healer (eg. all of Christ's helaing). God is a forgiving Father (eg. the merciful father of the Prodigal Son). God is never indifferent (eg. "If you who are wicked know how to give good gifts to your children when they ask, how much more...). God is someone who respects my freedom (eg. He challenges "Choose life." The choice is mine.) God is a daddy who meets me where I am (eg. Christ meeting the Samaritan woman at the well).
What do I do with this knowledge? First the woman, then the saint. My only security is in God my Father's infinite love. Try to be dependent, like a child. Remember, He allows suffering because it creates some pressure, it sets a deadline for me to get the growth done. Otherwise, we all would always put it off. Cling to Him in my prayer commitments, especially a "well done meditation (Fr. Thomas' challenge later). And meet Him in the Sacraments.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
2009-2010 Monthly Retreats to be on the "Our Father"
Our RC Monthly Retreats began in September. This year's theme is Prayer, especially all Christ taught us to pray in the "Our Father." Each month we will look at a line from the Lord's Prayer and what it teaches us about prayer, God, and holiness. These will be the specific themes each month: September- God the Father; (October-Triduum); November- Our Goal is to Bring All Things Under Christ; December- The Joys of Fulfilling God's Will; January- God Always Provides; February- Forgiveness; March- Help Us, Lord, to Always Have a Clean Heart; and April- God Will Make Us Victorious if We Trust in Him.
I am excited to dig deeper into the "Our Father" and prayer. I've grown so much each year from our Monthly Retreats and the topics we focused on so intently each year: the Beatitudes as an Imitation of Christ (or Christ's virtues) last year and the Core Convictions of a Catholic and member of RC in 2007-2008. (Anyone wanting a refresher can find the 8 Core Convictions listed in the sidebar.)
I am excited to dig deeper into the "Our Father" and prayer. I've grown so much each year from our Monthly Retreats and the topics we focused on so intently each year: the Beatitudes as an Imitation of Christ (or Christ's virtues) last year and the Core Convictions of a Catholic and member of RC in 2007-2008. (Anyone wanting a refresher can find the 8 Core Convictions listed in the sidebar.)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Book Review: Unless You Become Like This Child, von B
My systematic theo professor in college is a student & devotee herself of renown German theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar, even, if I remember correctly, studying under him &/or his colleagues, including then-Cardinal Ratzinger. We read a lot of Theo-Drama in her classes and heard even more from it. Since then, I have wanted to read more of his work and recently have been working on a slim little volume called Unless You Become Like This Child. For a few years now, my spiritual program has focused on growing in trust of God, as a child trusts his parents.
I am especially enjoying and learning from von B's fifth chapter in Unless...: "Living as God's Children." There he begins by noting that "nothing...has ever more emptied the wondrous mystery of child of its value" as the modern positivist preoccupation with making ourselves [what we decide humanity ought to be in our opinion]. He continues by noting that the traits of the adult Christian living as a child of God are "most evident in Christ himself:" 1) delightful amazement, esp. at the gifts of freedom, the other, Creation; 2) thanksgiving, in implicit recognition that I owe my life to another; 3) embracing the mystery of the Church and my place in it; and 4) living fully in the present moment, like a child with time to play and SLEEP. I'll close with a particularly-relevant-for-myself quote re. that last point-
"Pressured man on the run is always postponing his encounter with God to a 'free moment' or a 'time of prayer' that must constantly be rescheduled, a time that he must laboriously wrest from his overburdened workday. A child knows that God can find him at every moment because every moment opens up for him and shows him the very ground of time: as if it reposed on eternity itself."
I am especially enjoying and learning from von B's fifth chapter in Unless...: "Living as God's Children." There he begins by noting that "nothing...has ever more emptied the wondrous mystery of child of its value" as the modern positivist preoccupation with making ourselves [what we decide humanity ought to be in our opinion]. He continues by noting that the traits of the adult Christian living as a child of God are "most evident in Christ himself:" 1) delightful amazement, esp. at the gifts of freedom, the other, Creation; 2) thanksgiving, in implicit recognition that I owe my life to another; 3) embracing the mystery of the Church and my place in it; and 4) living fully in the present moment, like a child with time to play and SLEEP. I'll close with a particularly-relevant-for-myself quote re. that last point-
"Pressured man on the run is always postponing his encounter with God to a 'free moment' or a 'time of prayer' that must constantly be rescheduled, a time that he must laboriously wrest from his overburdened workday. A child knows that God can find him at every moment because every moment opens up for him and shows him the very ground of time: as if it reposed on eternity itself."
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Case of life: "The Blind Girl"
Finally, back to the Case, especially b/c I'll probably miss EWC today w/ a sick kiddo. It'll be good for me to continue reflecting on this one. RC cases discussed during EWC are always true stories.
Our first case of the year was a case of a young woman born blind. She suffered and struggled because of her blindness, unhappy that she could not do many things other, more typical people could do. She had a faithful boyfriend who stood by her through her heartaches and could see her goodness, despite her own negativity. He helped her persevere and see the positive side of things. The young woman always told her boyfriend, "If I could just see, I'd marry you."
It finally happened that the young woman was told it was her turn for a transplant, that she could have eyes (corneas) recently donated. She had the surgery and as the bandages were finally removed, her boyfriend was there with her for her first glimpse of the world. It was then she realized that he was blind. "Well," he said, "will you marry me now?" Painfully for him, her answer was no, she just couldn't do it, she couldn't handle the suffering related to being blind, even now. They went their separate ways.
Later, the young man wrote his former girlfriend a letter. He told her he loved her and always had only wanted her to be happy. He asked her to promise to take care of herself and her eyes, for before they were her eyes, they were first his...
When I first heard this story, I choked/gasped out loud. The betrayal and the love side by side struck me deeply. And the way the young man was another Christ, loving entirely for the other, not faltering even when rejected, is a powerful testimony of his own relationship w/ Christ. All she had to do was enjoy the gift and stop angsting over figuring everything out. All God wants us to do is enjoy his gifts, especially those of the people in our lives, especially our spouses. May we, may I, enjoy my husband this day and be more willing to sacrifice for him in those ways he needs from me, without counting the small cost.
Our first case of the year was a case of a young woman born blind. She suffered and struggled because of her blindness, unhappy that she could not do many things other, more typical people could do. She had a faithful boyfriend who stood by her through her heartaches and could see her goodness, despite her own negativity. He helped her persevere and see the positive side of things. The young woman always told her boyfriend, "If I could just see, I'd marry you."
It finally happened that the young woman was told it was her turn for a transplant, that she could have eyes (corneas) recently donated. She had the surgery and as the bandages were finally removed, her boyfriend was there with her for her first glimpse of the world. It was then she realized that he was blind. "Well," he said, "will you marry me now?" Painfully for him, her answer was no, she just couldn't do it, she couldn't handle the suffering related to being blind, even now. They went their separate ways.
Later, the young man wrote his former girlfriend a letter. He told her he loved her and always had only wanted her to be happy. He asked her to promise to take care of herself and her eyes, for before they were her eyes, they were first his...
When I first heard this story, I choked/gasped out loud. The betrayal and the love side by side struck me deeply. And the way the young man was another Christ, loving entirely for the other, not faltering even when rejected, is a powerful testimony of his own relationship w/ Christ. All she had to do was enjoy the gift and stop angsting over figuring everything out. All God wants us to do is enjoy his gifts, especially those of the people in our lives, especially our spouses. May we, may I, enjoy my husband this day and be more willing to sacrifice for him in those ways he needs from me, without counting the small cost.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Back to life. Back to EWC!
Over the summer when my RC team doesn't meet for our regular "Encounter with Christ (EWC)," I can think that I don't miss it that much or that I'm fine without it; but, every fall, once I re-connect with my team and we have Encounter, I realize anew what a gift it is to me and how good it is for me, as if it was made for my soul! Actually, it was. That's part of what a charism is for those called to live it. Gift. Mystery. Inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Personally-crafted-for-you-by-the-Holy-Spirit spirituality. And like all his gifts, Christ doesn't ever thrust a particular spirituality or aspect of a spirituality, including Encounter, upon us. He lets us choose to enjoy the gift. (The ladies of my team are themselves gifts, too, but today I'm thinking about Encounter.)
I love going to Encounter because it helps me to live a certain "ortho-praxy," however imperfectly. Many Catholic-Christians, myself included, are often quite concerned with ortho-doxy (literally "right reason"). Are we remaining true to Christ and the Tradition of his Church [by doing this or that liturgical pratice]? Does this [insert philosophy, socio-political solution, refrain from a song] participate in the Truth of life as it is created by God? Lately, I've found myself reflecting more and more on the life-long challenge of ortho-praxy ("right practice"). Am I truly living the never-changing but always new challenges of the Gospels? Am I living them as Christ has called me individually to do so? Do others know I'm a Christian by my love? Or will I be vomited from the mouth of God for my lukewarmness?
EWC is a combination Gospel study, prayer group, and practical study group. Each week, we reflect on the coming Sunday's Gospel. We hold each other accountable to our personal commitments to a life of prayer and virtue. One representative offers a spontanteous prayer on behalf of all, lifting up the reflections, inspirations, and needs of the team. Then we spend time discussing a real life example of an act of inspired virtue (called a "case of life"): seeing its causes & consequences, comparing parallels in life & the Gospels, and, finally, commiting to a resolution that follows the case's example.
More later on this week's very moving case. I'm still busy thinking about it...In the meantime, Lord, thank you for Encounter.
I love going to Encounter because it helps me to live a certain "ortho-praxy," however imperfectly. Many Catholic-Christians, myself included, are often quite concerned with ortho-doxy (literally "right reason"). Are we remaining true to Christ and the Tradition of his Church [by doing this or that liturgical pratice]? Does this [insert philosophy, socio-political solution, refrain from a song] participate in the Truth of life as it is created by God? Lately, I've found myself reflecting more and more on the life-long challenge of ortho-praxy ("right practice"). Am I truly living the never-changing but always new challenges of the Gospels? Am I living them as Christ has called me individually to do so? Do others know I'm a Christian by my love? Or will I be vomited from the mouth of God for my lukewarmness?
EWC is a combination Gospel study, prayer group, and practical study group. Each week, we reflect on the coming Sunday's Gospel. We hold each other accountable to our personal commitments to a life of prayer and virtue. One representative offers a spontanteous prayer on behalf of all, lifting up the reflections, inspirations, and needs of the team. Then we spend time discussing a real life example of an act of inspired virtue (called a "case of life"): seeing its causes & consequences, comparing parallels in life & the Gospels, and, finally, commiting to a resolution that follows the case's example.
More later on this week's very moving case. I'm still busy thinking about it...In the meantime, Lord, thank you for Encounter.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Our Little Ones
From today's Gospel (Matt. 18: 1-5, 10, 12-14), one of my favorites right now:
"Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven...[W]hoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me...In just the same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost."
"Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven...[W]hoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me...In just the same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost."
Sunday, August 9, 2009
In honor of a Feast Day not observed this year...
My birthday, August 9, is the feast day of Edith Stein, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, my Confirmation saint. This year her feast falls on a Sunday so it is not mentioned on any of my Catholic calendars. She was a Jewish convert, a philosopher & professor- a phenomenologist like Pope JPII & the foundational thinker who contributed to his own philosophy/theology of the "feminine genius," and a cloistered Carmelite nun who was martyred at Auschwitz as a result of the Nazi purging of Catholic monasteries in Denmark after the Dutch bishops spoke out against the Third Reich in no uncertain terms.
Some quotes of hers:
I always think of queen Esther who was chosen from among her own people to intercede before the king for her people. I am a little Esther poor and impotent, but the king who has chosen me is infinitely great and merciful. And this is a great consolation. (Letter 131)
One cannot desire freedom from the cross when one is especially chosen for the cross. (Letter 146)
Faith in the secret history of souls ought to fortify us when what we see externally (in ourselves and in others) takes away our courage. (Letter 148)
The whole work of education should be sustained by love which ought to be manifested in every correction, and it should certainly not be replaced by fear. The most efficacious educational means, then, is not the instruction, but the living example; without this all words are useless. (Woman. 11)
Is the extra-domestic professional activity of woman contrary to the order of nature and grace? I think not. All the powers of man are also present in the nature of woman: even if in different measure and in different proportion- this is proof that she too can use them in activities that correspond to her. These powers are limited when professional activity begins to hinder domestic life, namely the good of the family, composed of parents and children, in which one receives life and education. (Woman. 93)
Some quotes of hers:
I always think of queen Esther who was chosen from among her own people to intercede before the king for her people. I am a little Esther poor and impotent, but the king who has chosen me is infinitely great and merciful. And this is a great consolation. (Letter 131)
One cannot desire freedom from the cross when one is especially chosen for the cross. (Letter 146)
Faith in the secret history of souls ought to fortify us when what we see externally (in ourselves and in others) takes away our courage. (Letter 148)
The whole work of education should be sustained by love which ought to be manifested in every correction, and it should certainly not be replaced by fear. The most efficacious educational means, then, is not the instruction, but the living example; without this all words are useless. (Woman. 11)
Is the extra-domestic professional activity of woman contrary to the order of nature and grace? I think not. All the powers of man are also present in the nature of woman: even if in different measure and in different proportion- this is proof that she too can use them in activities that correspond to her. These powers are limited when professional activity begins to hinder domestic life, namely the good of the family, composed of parents and children, in which one receives life and education. (Woman. 93)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
72 Hrs. in Quarantine...Tough Way for a Boy to End a Summer
We're not really quarantined, although we do have the flu. Swine flu that is. Middle son had it last week with worse symptoms than oldest son who has it this week. Middle son was confirmed with it only on Mon.- the testing takes several days b/c it is sent off to one of only a few places in the country performing the testing. Since my husband is active duty Air Force and we get medical care at our base through the DoD (Department of Defense), my son's mucas sample was actually sent on for confirmation as H1N1/swine flu after initially determining it was Type A flu. According to a friend in a similar situation, civilian doctors are not all sending positive Type A flu specimans on for the further confirmation b/c 1) the few centers doing the testing are so back-logged; 2) symptoms are proving to be mild; and 3) patients just have to wait it out, whatever type of flu it is. Oldest son is fine now, after some fever the first 24 hrs., but quite unhappy about being advised to stay home for a few days and having to postpone his first piano lesson and miss our local ConQuest team's kick-off bowling night, considering he feels so well now.
This is just funny to me to be on the front side of the expected wave of this flu as children return to school and pass it around to each other. Thanks be to God, for us it has been a mild flu bug and I suspect will prove to be the same for other relatively healthy people. The reactions we have been getting are interesting and what makes it feel funny. Music teacher at school said the boys would be "famous" once the word got out; my sister who is a nurse said "gross;" and my office wanted me to stay home for a few days so as not to expose everyone.
Anyway, it has made for an interesting and trying end to our summer. My boys head back to school in 1 week and we are all ready for the schedule, challenge, and friends, not to mention the sacramental life. My husband has been doing "Daddy Daycare" at home 3 days a week while I work my PT schedule and needs to knock out some reading, what he was supposed to have been doing while on this flex/elective schedule. He has done a great job and, after the initial adjustment, they've had fun going on field trips to the movies, our city's Children's Museum, the library, parks, the pool, and hopefully still to come- Sea World.
This is just funny to me to be on the front side of the expected wave of this flu as children return to school and pass it around to each other. Thanks be to God, for us it has been a mild flu bug and I suspect will prove to be the same for other relatively healthy people. The reactions we have been getting are interesting and what makes it feel funny. Music teacher at school said the boys would be "famous" once the word got out; my sister who is a nurse said "gross;" and my office wanted me to stay home for a few days so as not to expose everyone.
Anyway, it has made for an interesting and trying end to our summer. My boys head back to school in 1 week and we are all ready for the schedule, challenge, and friends, not to mention the sacramental life. My husband has been doing "Daddy Daycare" at home 3 days a week while I work my PT schedule and needs to knock out some reading, what he was supposed to have been doing while on this flex/elective schedule. He has done a great job and, after the initial adjustment, they've had fun going on field trips to the movies, our city's Children's Museum, the library, parks, the pool, and hopefully still to come- Sea World.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
"Now that's what we call hungry!"
(I wrote this silly poem when the big boys were little, about 2 & 3 1/2 yrs. old, I think, and I was just realizing how many hours of my life I was going to spend feeding them their favorites-of-the-moment!)
Daddy's cereal, Mommy's cereal with
Jude & John Paul's milk.
Pancakes with syrup, please.
Homemade mac and cheese,
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Yogurt in a cup,
Grapefruit all cut up,
Apple juice, red juice, any juice;
Snack mix- Goldfish, raisins, peanuts, no peanuts!
Peanut butter and jelly,
all in your belly.
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Lots of peas,
"Nohotdogs, pease."
Chicken in anything,
From Daddy's grill, everything!
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Do we have dessert?
Pinata candy,
Fruit snacks,
Melting popsicles leave summer tracks.
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Daddy's cereal, Mommy's cereal with
Jude & John Paul's milk.
Pancakes with syrup, please.
Homemade mac and cheese,
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Yogurt in a cup,
Grapefruit all cut up,
Apple juice, red juice, any juice;
Snack mix- Goldfish, raisins, peanuts, no peanuts!
Peanut butter and jelly,
all in your belly.
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Lots of peas,
"Nohotdogs, pease."
Chicken in anything,
From Daddy's grill, everything!
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Do we have dessert?
Pinata candy,
Fruit snacks,
Melting popsicles leave summer tracks.
Now that's what we call hungry.
Chocolate milk.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Why practicing law is like learning a foreign language...and a piece of every lawyer's vocation
Not just because there is an entire legal vocabulary, often Latin, to learn and apply.
Practicing law (or any profession/science-art) for that matter is like learning a foreign language b/c you know you're making progress when you begin to think in the new language, to process in the new language, to make the new language a part of your life, rather than something grafted on for a certain number of required hours.
The past couple weeks have included some firsts for me professionally, including my first client dying (as in one I knew b/f the family came to us at a death for probate). She was a cancer patient, already undergoing experimental treatment when she came to us for a will just a few months ago. Another client is the daughter of another cancer victim, really struggling to accept her mom's death and work w/ me to complete the probate of her mom's estate. (Both these clients' situations lended to increased anxiety for me when my own mom was admitted to the hospital last week, although she has now returned home w/ a treatable diagnosis, thanks be to God and modern medicine.) These clients have given me food for spiritual reflection and crept into my prayers, in a way different from the often rote prayer I pray for all my clients. Bless them and all their loved ones, my Lord. And make me your instrument in their lives, if it be your will.
Practicing law (or any profession/science-art) for that matter is like learning a foreign language b/c you know you're making progress when you begin to think in the new language, to process in the new language, to make the new language a part of your life, rather than something grafted on for a certain number of required hours.
The past couple weeks have included some firsts for me professionally, including my first client dying (as in one I knew b/f the family came to us at a death for probate). She was a cancer patient, already undergoing experimental treatment when she came to us for a will just a few months ago. Another client is the daughter of another cancer victim, really struggling to accept her mom's death and work w/ me to complete the probate of her mom's estate. (Both these clients' situations lended to increased anxiety for me when my own mom was admitted to the hospital last week, although she has now returned home w/ a treatable diagnosis, thanks be to God and modern medicine.) These clients have given me food for spiritual reflection and crept into my prayers, in a way different from the often rote prayer I pray for all my clients. Bless them and all their loved ones, my Lord. And make me your instrument in their lives, if it be your will.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Vacation...Holiday...Holy Days
From Fr. Richard Veras, "The Importance of Vacation Time," as printed in Magnificant this month.
"This summer look forward to your vacation not as a moment to go away from something, but as a time to go closer to Someone. The One who is behind all that you experience on your vacation is the one who promises to be with you always, even after you have returned to your ordinary routine....May our vacation days not merely be empty of labor, but full of true joy. May we take full advantage of the free time given us to encounter the love, truth, and beauty of Christ in the myriad of ways he comes to us. May we look forward to the unexpected ways he will show himself to us in this privileged time, and may we find ourselves re-created so that our belonging to Christ may help to renew the face of the earth."
This reflection echoes the prayer on my heart for this time, as I enjoy my rest in and with Him (probably neglecting the discipline of my prayer life too much!), and begin looking to a new school year again w/ my children and including my apostolate duties that I have taken a much-needed break from the last 6 weeks.
"This summer look forward to your vacation not as a moment to go away from something, but as a time to go closer to Someone. The One who is behind all that you experience on your vacation is the one who promises to be with you always, even after you have returned to your ordinary routine....May our vacation days not merely be empty of labor, but full of true joy. May we take full advantage of the free time given us to encounter the love, truth, and beauty of Christ in the myriad of ways he comes to us. May we look forward to the unexpected ways he will show himself to us in this privileged time, and may we find ourselves re-created so that our belonging to Christ may help to renew the face of the earth."
This reflection echoes the prayer on my heart for this time, as I enjoy my rest in and with Him (probably neglecting the discipline of my prayer life too much!), and begin looking to a new school year again w/ my children and including my apostolate duties that I have taken a much-needed break from the last 6 weeks.
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