Copyright

Such a path takes courage, and that is why whenever I greet newlyweds, I say, 'Look the courageous ones!' Because you need
courage to love each other as Christ loves the Church.

Pope Francis, General Audience, May 6, 2015









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Monday, January 17, 2022

January 2022 Gratitude Daybook: Christmas & 20th Anniversary! Edition


Outside on our Turkey Ranch

I’m grateful that Jesse pulled out one piece of outside Christmas decor- our wooden manger with Baby Jesus because he knows I like to do something, however simple. It is stored away now with the rest of Christmas. Still very dry with cold weather this January.

From the bookshelves

I’m grateful for some new books in our midst: 
a Kimbell Art Museum mini-Cookbook (Trust me here- recipes from their amazing little cafe, paired with beautiful artwork from the museum), 
Fancy Nancy & the Nice List gifted by Tessa and read right before Cate asked for her own fuchsia bike, serious book providence at work that I never want to forget :), 
Dreamers of the Day shared by Sara about a lovely, quirky, single school marm Post-WWI, her chance meetings with the power players who parceled land into the modern Middle East, and how that time affected and reflects our own. 
With our hands-
I’m grateful for the watercolor nature journaling Cate, Mary, and I continue to do as part of an on-line class from Wild + Free. The accompanying book is beautiful!




In my head
I’m grateful for some practice living the reality that change often requires trust. We can create change or remain comfortable, not usually both at the same time. It has been a long season of checking out/staying in and trusting others to take care of me and help with Cate.

On my heart- I’m grateful for my husband and our abundantly! lived 20 years together...
  • 5 beautiful living children: Jude Thomas, John Paul Muller, Mark Ignatius, Mary Constance, & Catherine Therese with her medical special needs and one we miscarried whom we named Gabriel/la and remember with an ornament every Christmas; 2 foster children in San Antonio also remembered with an ornament, 8 godchildren around the country we love to see with their families, some of our closest friends; 
  • 6 homes (1 we remodeled ourselves) + 45 acres total (including an orchard briefly!) in/outside 3 cities in Texas; 
  • 3 degrees earned together; 
  • his medical career (begun with a baby born each of the first two years of his medical school and now a private psych practice where those same boys have both worked for him); 
  • my seasons of work practicing probate/guardianship law, in Catholic education, and now writing about marriage and family life,
  • his burgeoning quarter horse breeding hobby and side-hustle.
We became friends first while doing youth ministry together in the beginning and teach NFP together still. We are blessed to have many true friends and experience "membership," as Wendell Berry calls it, after choosing to settle in Wichita Falls and at Sacred Heart. Our faith and love of family and each other unite us. We are opposites in so many ways, but better together than separate- when we remember to work together and lean on each other.



Most recent road trip
I’m so grateful that we made it back to FtW for a joyful, "Dickens-ian" Second Day of Christmas at our Mimi’s with Tessa and Nathan also along for the first time. We spent good time with my sister and her family and I saw a beloved uncle & aunt I haven’t seen in ages. M & M stayed for a couple nights of extended Mimi/cousin time.





Saturday, December 18, 2021

2021 Year End Daybook: Surgery Edition

Outside on our Turkey Ranch... I'm writing this from my mom's house in Ft. Worth, where Cate and I are waiting out her critical recovery period and follow-up appointments in closer vicinity to her pedi hospital. Back home we are in Stage 1 Drought Conditions in our county. Our pond is the lowest I've seen it. Cate & I haven't been on our regular walks around it because of my bad knee but it appears relatively lifeless. Knee replacement for me at the end of this month; then, we can walk it again daily. Mark built an impressive fort on the far west side of the pond this fall. We also had concrete ramps poured for Cate at our front and back doors so she can drive in and out in her power chair- all the younger kids are enjoying them. 


From the bookshelves... Lots of reading silly Frozen and Fancy Nancy books, as well as a few more classic ones I choose but that she doesn't enjoy as much, with Cate post-surgery this week. It's been fun watching her enjoy all things Frozen during another winter, including getting wide-eyed at our "Frozen" hospital room. Mary and I have been reading the second in her Alex and Eliza (Hamiltonseries when we have time. Both girls always enjoy our Christmas book basket. We're all especially enjoying a new Jesse Tree during this Advent: Ann Voskamp's Greatest Gift book version. Such a beautiful and ingenious design! I love how the tree unfolds and the vibrant colors of the small, tucked-away ornaments.


With our hands... Cate made a sweet Christmas tree tea towel at therapy (OT/VII). Mary has been doing the family Christmas baking and decorating with amazing friends who've wanted to help us get it in despite Cate's surgery less than two weeks before Christmas.  Jesse has been coordinating kids' schedule and doing the driving while I'm gone, with plenty of help from JP. I am busy learning to run and clean Cate's G-Tube pump and bags/tubes/syringes. 





In my head... Cate! Her needs and new schedules. She really is amazing- tackled her procedures and is adjusting to her new normal very well. She has been her usual cheerful self since Day 3. She had multiple procedures- a scope & tonsils/adenoids out and a G-Tube put in. She wants to scoot around on the floor and is sleeping on her tummy already. She doesn't want to eat much, even ice cream, so I am glad we have the tube for her liquid meals. I am a little worried about caring for her when I get my new knee but I know I will have help!



On my heart... All the kids are on my heart as we tackle this transition together. I've missed a lot of basketball games and academic/UIL awards with JP and Mark this past week and will be missing down time with all the boys before Christmas. Jude stopped here overnight to see Cate on his way home from A&M which was fun. Jesse will bring Mary to be with Cate & I this weekend and next week. Despite missing some of the boys' activities, I caught Mary's Christmas program and will get to celebrate my brother's birthday with him while we are here and had a good visit with my sister earlier tonight over a couple glasses of wine.




Most recent road trip was... to Our Lady of Clear Creek Monastery in eastern Oklahoma with Jesse for a marriage retreat weekend for our 20th anniversary. So beautiful and peaceful, like stepping outside of time. We really enjoyed the Benedictine atmosphere and Latin Liturgy of the Hours and Mass, also the Ignatian Discernment of Spirits in Marriage material in the retreat sessions. The property was once a family ranch and remains a working farm. The couples guesthouse is the family's fabulous log cabin still on the property. We brought home delicious cheese and coffee, not to mention some great books from the monks' gift shop.

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

So. Much. Has. Happened.: Summer 2021 Update

It's been closer to a year than not since I posted.  Eight months.  

What an intense season it's been for our family.  Three ACL tears and three surgeries for two boys in the last 18 months.  My husband has started his independent psych practice and is opening his own building this month.  Our diocesan Catholic school has closed and we've been a small part of opening another this fall at our parish. Cate started getting services at our public school and will be going there for a couple hours each morning in the fall.  Eldest son has graduated high school and will be off to college this fall;  second oldest will finish high school at our local public high school next school year.  So. much. planning.  







We have another foal! Named Hugs by Cate. :)


I've navigated two, soon to be three, ARDs for our precious Cate since her third birthday in January.   




Her disease is progressing. She has developed hip and ankle contractures and started therapy for those.  
We go to an out of town weekly PT where the therapist who works closely with the orthotists now.  



She also now sees a developmental pediatrician at Scottish Rite and they've started preparing us for a G-Button for her.  Jesse and I attended our first virtual Cure CMD Sci-Fam Conference.


She is a joy and all gift.


Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Fall 2020 Back to School Pics

 

2020-21 School Year of the Masks

Mary's 10th in August (but after school starts so Fall to me)


Mark's 12th in September

Jude's Football Senior Night & 18th! in November

Mark's 6th grade Football pic

John Paul as a Jr. w/ beloved by all, Tessa, on Homecoming


Summer Pics 2020: Gardening & Friends


our non-working fountain turned planter project




spiritual friends & mentors

Farm to Table dinner hosted by a real life friend





Mother's Day hike to the top of Mt. Baldy


Amazing Pics of St.Therese! (for Cate, later)

 https://aleteia.org/2017/03/07/54-incredible-photos-of-saint-therese-of-lisieux-taken-by-her-sister-celine/


Wednesday, July 1, 2020

June 2020 Reflections



From writer Emily P. Freeman's monthly e-mail...

1. Where did you see God in June?

    Personally, I saw God in the love of my own parents as I took the kids on mostly outdoor, extended  weekend trips with each of them this month and in the love of my husband who remained home busily working to support our own family both times.  We camped at Lake Murray SP, OK with my dad and visited our beloved Port A on the TX Gulf Coast with my mom.  Some of my kids are not easy to live with but my parents love them as grandparents do and we made great memories both trips.  


    In the world at large, I see God in the more open, honest dialogues between people in our country with different experiences and sufferings, in the reaching out and sharing of those with more public personalities as they articulate the inner dialogues and journeys of many of us.  Despite my own struggles, I have lead and continue to lead a largely privileged life.  And any remnant of racism is a sin, especially in 2020.

 

2. What's one thing you've learned?

   I've learned that maybe the time has come for anti-racism, as well as colorblindness.

    Ok, two things I've learned.  I've learned I'd love for us to have an RV camper so that we can continue to explore and adventure together but especially so I can do that somewhat predictably with and for Cate.

 

3. What is the best thing that could happen in July?

    The best thing that could realistically happen is that I could truly embrace this home-centered, more contemplative pace of life for the long-run, in such a way that there was life, Melissa's rhythm of life, our rhythm of life before COVID and there is now a personal and family rhythm since COVID that will not be set aside when school and sports and other activities resume.  Jesse has more naturally been drawn to a less-busy schedule than I at times but I have resisted doing it from a negative perspective.  Now, I truly see this as a choice for a more abundant life personally and for the family.  

    

    

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Spring 2020 Daybook: Hiking & Books! Also COVID-19

Outside on our Turkey Ranch...
the Bradford Pear blossoms and tulips have already blown away but the Indian Blanket & irises appeared this week. We also have a mobility van for #catethegreat now parked on the driveway.



From the bookshelves...
I read two books this past winter that really spoke to my heart, Undone and Be Brave in the Scared. Both memoirs of moms with children with special needs. The grace-given yet hard-fought honest insights they each shared were really a balm to my momma heart.  And I also always enjoy anything of Christopher West's.


I’m currently reading a couple good books with the middle kids. One of the blessings of more family time during the Quarantine.


With our hands...
I prepared a web page concept for my consulting project with CCL/Live the Love, FAB Coaching. So excited- we did a soft launch of our fertility awareness coaching pilot program in the last couple weeks! In the kitchen, soup dinners have transitioned to grilling this early spring for my hungry brood.

All four big kids kids helped Jesse construct a room in our horse barn (that he is now living in to protect catethegreat, more on that later) and have started some woodworking projects of their own.  MI has been adding to his origami animal collection and MC has continued cross-stitching, moving on to patterns of saints.


In my head...
the life of Catherine of Siena as imagined by Louis de Wohl, in Lay Siege to Heaven which I just finished.  Also Life from Our Land, perfect for spring, and how to keep myself/us slowed down and outside on our land like we have been so much.

On my heart...
union with God and all I'm learning from some people in my life about that and from a book about St. Therese’s middle sister, called Leonie: A Difficult Life.  I read it with the pair above about special needs families. It fit there well as she was a difficult child emotionally. So, so real. A breath of fresh air when it comes to biographical writing about saintly lives and especially that family out of history.  God's faithfulness does not depend on our good or even best behavior.

Most recent road trip was...
finally back to the Wichita Mountains for an afternoon of hiking in gorgeous weather during the first week of this extended Spring Break!  And Cate’s first time to go! So beautiful- I had missed that geography so much.  We hope to get back there soon and more regularly.



Of holidays & holy days... 
Lent has been an exceptional one this year, hasn't it?  Much given up but much received in its place.  I have realized anew how distracted I can get, how hard it is to embrace the moments and savor them when we are always rushing on to the next thing.  But case in point- these photos from winter holidays & holy days I've never shared here or on Instagram.

Cate enjoying her work at PT in her birthday crown.


 Cate's first snow!  Several days off school that seem like ages ago and 
that haven't kept us from a good break for the Holy Triduum.


Sissy and Daddy headed to the annual Father-Daughter Dance in their Valentine Best.


 We had potato soup on St. Paddy’s Day and baked little loaves of bread on the Feast of St. Joe, the Holy Family’s “breadwinner.” It was our first attempt at gluten free from scratch and while they looked good... 


Made a baked oatmeal pan cake and waffles (here) for beloved 16 yr old healthiest-son’s b-day.


A Prayer...
from the priest and preacher to the papal household during the pontificate of JPII and on, Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa:

Come, Holy Spirit.
Come now.
Come as You wish.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Happy Holy Week at Home 2020!

for a variety of daily activities (reading, watching, making, eating)
from the Catholic homeschool group of MIG’s godmother 

Sunday, March 8, 2020

Fertility Awareness & Women's Mental Health

Continuing to post some pieces from Natural Womanhood's blog, a great and trusted source for me.  I have found the points made in this piece to be so personally true.

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